Saying Goodbye ...

... and memories made ... over time ... once again shared in precious last conversations ... 

our last time together one Friday this month in the very recent memory of how such times live on in our hearts ... 

... letting go and picking up where I was before the time that came ...

with the knowledge we are richer in spirit from this and these moments ... and knowing such special people in our lives as we weave in more with some than others ... however long or brief ...

The Weight in Clutter ...

the ruthlessness on these times ... the delays ... the deaths ... the clears ... 

The difference in time and the gaps in the clears and the pattern of behaviour change in ...

• shopping 
• meals 
• baking
• decor 
• clothes
• furniture
• style
• versatility
• Media
• product placement
• product labels
• simplicity
• people 
• communications
• time alone
• crafts
• hobbies
• reading
• transference of skills
• vocation
• life change
• life style 

Adapting to life ...

with the impact of making decisions between three of us ... as the next of kin of my mum in law ...in the absence of one devoted loving son ... in an overwhelming situation still for me ..

The unconditional love and support of a nephew stepping in that part of my life ... Whilst adjusting to a turmoil of life upside down and inside out of a forgotten family ... 

This continues ... silently in the background ...

Defining Life ...

when colour drains ... from it ... 

A dawn of few ... the simple pleasures ... 

The fact of fitting into sporty wear again for walking at the minute. And with the material to keep cool when warm and vice versa ... reversing the opposite to what had came along ... and striving for a place in life and fitting in a piece of it again ...

And doing things, some still had no faith I would do ... 

Versatility in an ...

hairdo ... decided ... done and enjoying the new style ...

Up or down, a demi-chignon, a messy layered look, straightened, blow dried forward to frame the face, or straightened in to a classic layered bob ... my multi use theme ... to make the most of change within one item ... 

I like the fact on my bad days, the messy layered look will still be smartly acceptable ... And I get another chance to look different again for the grad photo in July ... for the family album ... a lot different to this time last year ... another progress ... taking an interest in the smart self again ... using more colours, styles and textures ... in the aspects of life we can take for granted ... until it is lost for a time or forever ... 

Floating in time

With hopes for 

My home town chimes

For a little while 

Until it becomes amore awhile

Of that happiness more

A Day of Returns ...

with a variable day in the life of wife to widow to an odd place in life ... Aside the fact of what we went through ... 

I am at an interesting juncture. I was in a part of a life that sees you meet your partner, set up home get married and have a family ... 

In a blink of an eye on the natural progression of the nest becoming empty ... I am still a Mum; but suddenly ... not a wife ...  all within weeks of each other ... 

It is a very interesting view from where I now am ... I can go totally my own way. The family are grown up. All the time that she has been studying is odd though ... in the eyes of the world she is an adult ... In the cosy but costly world of study she is still a dependant ... 

I can go and do as I please now ... If I want to shop at 2am in the morning, I can do so ... So much is open to me now ...  

It is now the scenic way round from the legacy of burden, that carries on beyond a life atypical ...

To Shift the Mood ...

Settling into some structure today ... With inspired thoughts that came ... Once upon a time used to see through ... in due time ... It is a panic as to that time of suppression ... Will I ever be free of this burden ... I would like a lightness in my step ... And to face the days with the zest I once had ... 

Thank you people for the bother ... At least some learnings from the failings of the learnings may appear in one form or another ... Be it this or the next generation ... 

This one part I am not letting sleeping dogs lie ... Those transparencies with the data reform contradict as in this case ... But oh so much more ... 

Myself ... My hair ...

2014

Currently, another long overdue style, cut and blow dry ... 

I do hope to have a look at some new styles to see if they would be suitable ... A lot has changed since I was updated with this first style and colour. I had a hair massage and tips on blowdrying again ... quite a bit had changed ... but stayed similar too since I had last sat in an hair stylists chair ..

And my floating support kept correcting me in the first year with words and what ... to do with hair styling and more ... I was out of date ... 

ideas roll out out

In the little room ... in and out the sub conscious... Going thru life ... In adversity clearing clutter belongings and bits and pieces, going about generally daily ... Inspired by colour the senses touch texture others the seasons baking old with new and if course publishing in a form 152 million plus blogs some of us that do ... 

These are my own writing prompts ... prompts ... 

• Beyond the family tree 
• Ability in disability 
• Visual impairment 
• Hard of hearing 
• Being abnormal is not a crime 
• Taboo subjects
• The dark history of life before the smog child labour prostitution ... all still happens 
• Controversial thoughts as in allowing things like subjects taboo in a less demeaning way because it happens away ... It shoul not be dirty ... Etc 
• Ethical trading 
• Words start forming in diverse thoughts ... dark and light and shade  
• I was a wife I am mow a widow from strife when life was rife ... Getting words to flow when mind in a muddle too 
• A space in a place 
• New words 
• My words used time and again and not so 
• Quotes of others 
• Sylvia Plath
• Words CD imported for Eloquence blog 
• Stories not yet structured 
• Space in seclusion 
• Poems prose that do flow ... I think I ad ready said that 
• Splurge in odd and good creativity from suppression 
• It maybe odd for one  ... but natural for another 
• And of course ideas on movement in the home to research and get funding to do so ... 

The Tiniest Tasks ...

are getting done and these in themselves on coming together, making its own impact ... the unwelcome interruptions aside today ...  the combination of past present and the future plans in a steady way is improving and giving more moments of well being ... an enormous task in itself, when you go alone ...

Anticipation of what will get achieved

this week ... after a more fruitful time of late ...

• Spring Cleaning 
• Stash Busting the depressive items 
• Stash busting the more pleasant items 
• Clothes
• Time in the steamy rooms 
• Getting through the recipes more
• Blogging
• Important CDs
• Watching some of Dad's DVDs etc
• Enjoying Love
• Photos recent and past
• Sprucing up a piece of furniture
• Painting the bathroom tiles 
• Attempting organising a better system for the paperwork
• Vocational ideas and the pros and cons 
• Self Publishing research ... still a bit overwhelming 
• Reading about the Thames Barrier after seeing a very old film with our daughters birth place and this area in a dated format ... fascinating ...

I wonder what is next ... ?

Remembering an outstanding thoughtful eternally loving Husband ...

A Special Birth of our Daughter to the very soon Mothers Day 

Birthdate to the soon after Mothers Day that hubby made special with our new born only being days old ... A week of celebrations this last few days, among the task of the change of life style currently. A birthday. One leap Year Engagement, remembered. The very last Valentines Gift of the most beautiful piece of jewellery, to coincide with that particular leap year day too ... All remembered and making my very first Mothers Day with a new born  ... so very special ...

The Annual Arrival of Post ...

the basic functions of living ... about to have some lunch and then settle down to open and keep it where I do not mislay it for now ... I attempted this part of re-organisation in the home yet again, last month. 

I went back to a easier task. I will come back to this task and try and try agin until I recover on this part of the journey ... The connotations this brings ...  only I and I alone now know...