Month of March ... A mix ... of ...

enjoying the season bursting back in life with vibrant greens blues and colour ... hoping to see the blue bells yet again in the place I like to be.

And a little less damp and dust for a moment. 

And best of all getting to see the smiles on those who mean much to me ... starting with my Mum in law 

Dilemmas In Dress ...

I have already dropped dress sizes. It depends on the style. I made some of my own clothes once for even then, some fittings were too general for certain aspects of the way I was made ... besides the fact I liked some different to the norm once. 

I am now between sizes in some of my clothes. It is good my family gave some clothes to take this in account. They like hubby, knew movement, had a lot to do with my weight.  

Plenty more hill walking coming up soon. Last time they were a bit gentler on me. I was recovering and adapting to new health issues. I have since had lots of advice ... some off the cuff ... as is life outside my atypical world. 

The day after I arrive I have been booked in for a hair do with someone who once cut my hair ... as a treat and pamper for again they know I get carried away once I set to task of clearing the past, condensing the home to hope to move to a gentler pace of life I seem to be more adept with ...

Pottering about in my own time and pace

and space ... 

it has been a pleasure in a roundabout way: that time constraints in my home bubble is out the window for now ... at least it is only time out the window ... 

The amount of times things I wanted to throw items from each room, out of the windows in each room  ... Our daughter remembers ... me actually doing that at times when it got the better of me  ... including the car ... I was not going to waste fuel driving unnecessary items around ... Items flew out the car onto the drive ... fluttering around ... I then just drove off ... 

Getting due process into action

for either way in all the loops and leaps into a new Unknown. A mind field of new ways of things being done ... To confuse me further ... This will be another struggle to get my head round ... The registering of housing ... In another area ... 

The Music Back in More of the Reclaimed Kitchen Space and Functions ... while some bread was prepared and baked ...

more of those special times created ... although the memories for the one ... after the laborious task of importing some of the reunited music into a new format. The recent reclaiming of more of the useful counter space in my reasonable sized kitchen ... functioning more as it is intended ...

A task made simple as I busy myself in this lovely room ... as I try to alter the past to the present and future ... The essence of home craft created in the kitchen again with some simply made bread today ... no yeast, no kneading or faffing about with the traditional way of waiting to rise before cooking and made with healthy oil rather than those bad fats too ...

I have loved the diversity of cooking beyond my own culture. So too trying the healthier options in baking too .. when once I could ... those seasons of yukky food in my system is sad ... but with others too having difficult access to food, one can not be too moany ... and groany about this part of that time ... we did the best we could with what could be done ...

Conflicts Charity Clocks Calendars CDs Cupboards Cabinets Collating and Collecting

reversed reunited revitalised and recycled ...  Despite the reverberations and echoes in time ... A tea trolley ... A shopping trolley a carpet all aid the removal of the remnants of a life that struggled awhile 

Tossing and turning through the swathes of work here in the dust, morning, noon and night and even when I do get to sleep ... the  dreams disturbed  as I plough through the recesses of a time different to what is seen 

... started on our music collection ...

... importing a selection to my music library ... there are pros and cons to everything I am doing ... I still yet to decide on this area ... my husband and I shared a love of music ... this will not be easy ... again this is pulling against myself ... part of me again cannot bear the overwhelming feeling; after living with hoarding ... and can I be bothered in moving this part of the home? I hope all will become clear ....

The Kitchen Work Triangle to Use of the now functioning space ... To the Versatility Of One Useful Item ...

finally once again ... the whole of the area of the room in use ... behind some cupboards there is still some sifting and sorting to do ... and a load of getting used to the regained space 

A little gift coming to myself tomorrow ... is a good quality small skillet frying pan to make and bake with. It can be used in the oven and if I so wished like the many bonfires we cooked on with my family along the now touristy camel trail and with the Guides, long before barbecues became the thing ... I can use it to cook on a bonfire ... 

The versatility of one item is the start ... until I get to Kernow and get ....

• These type of versatile items in the kitchen
• Glass style baking tins 
• Jam Making items
• Storage Solutions to streamline my cooking ... like it once did ...
• A large stockpot to bulk make my one pot dishes and for my family when there will be more than one visiting ... 

Colour in The Blackness of time ...

... A very wibbly, wobbly start to the week ... by mid week my head felt so far from me ... I worked through it ... No self pity ... here 

And as one finds with life ... there is usually something round the corner to put a smile back on your face. Our daughters moment is now happening at the very start of her career path after the relevant qualifications and experience in all her youth activities of the opportunities we steer our off spring through those early years. Be it Brownies, at the start of school to secondary extra curricular activities leading to out of school friends and other youth opportunities. For example attending the local neighbouring borough youth council meetings learning lifetime skills in doing so, and also at county level in representing at the youth county council. She was a young Arts Ambassador for KCC. She attended various drama groups getting the opportunity to do many things. Played musical instruments, attended chess club to name a few. She learned Archery and like me obtained Bronze level in the Duke of Edinburgh award, in doing so.

Another lasting legacy besides the introduction of many things while with the Youth council, she along with others wrote, produced, filmed, interviewed and acted in a local award winning community film, with photo displays at both the local library and Lullingstone World Garden etc ... 

My task as a Mum will never finish ... as with her late Dad ... but seeing her now happy again, in the start of her wishes in a career chosen and working towards her Masters ...  is more than I could have wished for her ... 

Time in a room ... as a room ...

cooking clearing and the cupboards ... there is still time stood still behind some of these cupboard doors ... I am still not using the home to the full capacity, for the clearance stuffed back items I had no interest in ... and only really my sister and cousin and goes without saying our daughter as an inkling in these moments ... of my thoughts, that over time I may have written about or not. It is not a simple case of clearing ... it is the mess it still creates; as proven recently yet again ... how the work in progress is a source of so much ... the ill feeling it stirs up again ... I rather shut the door on it and keep to the now. That is no good, I like it to function as my freezer is finally operating ... with full use of the items in operation now ... that is used in the flow of current life... To get it up to date is overwhelming in this mind ... One day I hope ... as it always is when you achieve something after a dilemma ... I can say to myself ... 'What was all the fuss about ?' ...

Plenty to do

which opens up ideas...

then weighing up pros and cons... fundamentally the basis of life that is left ... and what is worth doing ... especially when life has reminded me yet again...how stupid it is outside beyond here...

Oral Health

... Apart from the complexities of health from that time ... With the final work awaiting the green light and going back for another hygienist appointment ... Within the four months of the first appointment ... 

... My oral health is the best it has been in a ... let's say too long ... 

My sister cannot keep up with all that I am doing ... And she is very astute ... That gives one an inkling into how too complex our lives became ... That says it all ... 

And my mouth feels like it used to ... Progress back in the right direction ... I require the focus on the other outstanding aspects ... The home ... Mind ... Body ... And the inner creative being ... Although now without my kindred spirit ... He is very much with me ... 

Focus is frustrating

Such is the tide of thoughts and decisions. There are so many elements. I have put paperwork as the primary task ... 

Sifting, sorting, shredding and save to file ... I feel a poem forming ... But best to rest ... Oops I did it again ...